In this day and age of social media, it is easy to get caught up in other people's lives. I am sure many of you get caught up in it at times just like I do. Let's be honest, we can be over consumed by it too. Sometimes it can take its toll and you just feel like turning off the noise in your life. But I find it concerning that many of us think that what we see on the screen is how real life is. The truth is life is not picture perfect or like the perfect post. There is a lot of struggle in life. There are a lot of hard core lessons we learn behind the scenes. So let me just share my heart here.
What you may see is me smiling in some pictures and even getting in on an occasional selfie with a friend. But what you may not know is that there was a span of time that I didn't take pictures at all. There is a story behind my crooked smile and lazy eye. You may not know that I walked out crying on an Olan Mills photographer that was showing us proofs of our family photos because it was still too soon and the bells palsy hadn't corrected. There was a lot of heart break looking at pictures and it took a lot of courage to start taking them again. You may not know that I still look at each picture and critique it. I know when I see some of those pics it looks like I was unusually tired that day. It is so easy to look at some one's picture and think that everything is all good. But we don't know what the true story is behind the smile. Sometimes it may be a great picture that reflects happiness and other times there could be pain behind the smile. Be aware and love on people anyway. Love on the people who have tears in their eyes and love on the ones with a smile on their face too.
What you may see is my husband and I running a good business. But what you may not know is the amount of prayer that went into that decision. You may not know that we had no clue what we were doing. And you never got to see us both with our heads in our hands, sitting on the front steps of that business, crying because the bank would only loan us a little amount of money. We made it with that little amount of money and God's help. There is a lot of grind that happens behind the scenes. Even when things are going well, you have days you want to quit. There are days you want to complain to the boss and then remember you are the boss. You don't always see the love we have for our employees and how they truly become like our own kids or how it stings a little when they leave.
Sure we love our business and thank God for giving us the abilities to run it. We are thankful for the grit and the grace. Cheer your friends on through their struggles and their triumphs.
What you may see are pictures of my boys doing good things and rewards they may get. You don't always get to see a mom sitting on the floor in front of a bedroom door praying late at night over her kids. You may not get to hear my prayers but I can honestly say they are said daily and nightly. You may not know about the nights I slept restless because I just knew something was off with one of my kids. Sure enough, you get a phone call from one of them confirming what you prayed about. You may compliment their manners and character and I say thank you. You don't know the many times I corrected them when they were little and reminded them to say thank you and yes ma'am and no sir. You may see me defend them and present a united front in public. But you don't know that I scolded them, told them to quit acting like a jerk, and that they were wrong in a situation.
You don't always see that they hurt my feelings because they didn't say I love you back. You don't get to hear my prayers that call the good out of my kids and that speak God's word over them. Raising kids can be tough. Be kind to one another mommas.
What you see is me smiling and laughing with friends. What you don't know is that I truly do love my friends and I think I am a pretty loyal friend too. But I have been hurt by friends and I am sure I have hurt some of them as well. You don't see that sometimes when I am out and about I would rather be at home and that I forced myself to go. There are times when I am at home when I wished I would have been invited to go. What you don't see is that I may be with someone you never thought I would be hanging with. But you may not know that I decided to forgive them and start over. What you may not know is that there are still friendships that hurt my heart because we aren't as close as we once were. And there are some friends that aren't in my life and that is ok. There are some friends that you don't see in a long time but you pick up right where you left off each time you meet up. There are some friends who are family. They just get you. You don't have to have tons of friends. You just need one or two. Hold on to your friends, carry their burdens, laugh a lot and love them big.
You may see me serving in church and doing all the "churchy" things. But what you don't know is that I didn't serve the Lord until I was much older. I learned about all of the bible stores by teaching PreK kids in church. The first time I went to children's camp was as a leader and I bawled like a baby because the experience was so overwhelming. I felt like the kids blessed me more than I did them. You don't know that I love old hymns and never tire of them because I didn't grow up listening to them. You don't know that Bryan and I were very blessed to become part of a church where a Pastor loved on us and took us under his wing even when we were still living together and not making good decisions. He is one of the biggest influences in both of our lives. Had he snubbed his nose at us we probably wouldn't be in church today. You probably don't know that we have been hurt in church and have hurt people too. But we both know that doing life God's way is better than anything this world can offer us. There are no perfect churches and no perfect people. We have learned that the hard way. But God loves imperfect churches and imperfect people.
You may see my life as good and I can say that it is. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and good health and an amazing family. Bryan and I built this life together. We both were working part time at Sears when we met. You may not know that when we got together I think I was making around $6.15 an hour and he was making $7. We made it with a blue couch my mom gave us and some bachelor looking coffee tables his brother previously owned. We lived on love for sure. We didn't argue much but when we did we made up quickly because there was only one TV to watch.
You may not know that there are days I just don't feel good. There are days I am super fatigued but I refuse to let lupus take me down. You see me running and working out but there are times when the doctor tells me not to. There are times I get frustrated because I get on a roll and then my body tells me to slow down. I am thankful for the people who run with me and even more for the ones who will slow down and walk with me when I need to. You don't always see the fight in me that I have for my family. I am a lover and not a fighter but I can get down and dirty in some prayer when I need to.
Be thankful for the good in your life and learn from the hard times. When you get knocked down, dust yourself off and put your big girl panties on and pray.
I don't expect you to know and see everything about my life. Not everyone is interested and not everyone needs to know every detail. My point to all of this is that what you see about other people's lives is just a small excerpt from their whole story book. You may not want to read their whole book. They may not even let you. Just know that there is a whole lot more to every one's story than a picture or a post. We don't know what everyone goes through. Be kind. Be gracious. Be giving. Be encouraging. Be real.
We don't see the history, the fight or even the future plan. We can see the beauty in every person's story.
