I love this time of year! I love Christmas and everything that comes with it. I also love the new year beginning to approach. It is always a time to reflect on the past year and wait with anticipation as to what the upcoming months will bring. I am not one for resolutions but I do like to clear my mind and set some goals. I can't say that I don't look back because I do like to look back and see how much God has done for me. I also like to see where I have been and see if there are things that I need to change or work on in my life. I can say that 2012 has been a year full of ups and downs but it has been a special year of my life and has taught me some life lessons.
First of all, I have seen that forgiveness is not as easy to come by as some may think. And sometimes saying your sorry does not make the situation better. But saying your sorry is still the right thing to do in order for you to move on even if you can't control how the other person reacts or feels. And there may still be an empty part in you that longs for that person to be in your life. Some situations you have to give to the Lord and trust in Him. I know to never lose hope because God can work miracles and soften hearts.
Secondly, I have realized that I love my kids at the age they are now. Though I miss them sleeping on my chest at times, I love the fact that they can do things on their own. I so enjoy watching them do what they do and I love watching every game. I have the sore back from sitting on stands and bleachers to prove it. I love seeing their individual personalities emerge and I am amazed at how much they reflect who Bryan and I are. Even though Christian (my oldest) and I are one in the same and butt heads at times, he is my tender-hearted kid. He is the one I know will do great things and in whom I know there are seeds planted that will grow and do wondrous things for God's kingdom. He is a thinker and an observer and stands alone and stands out. Bo is Bryan made all over. After Bo does something sweet, I always go to Bryan and tell him how much I love him because I see Bryan in Bo's brown eyes and big heart. He is my child who can charm the stars with his smile and yes that concerns me a little when it comes to girls. He is compassionate and loves to give. He has the cutest mannerisms and makes this house complete. I feel so blessed that God chose me to be their mother.
I have also realized that God's followers are not limited to the church walls. I don't get in religious debates often because they rarely ever end on a good note. I believe God's word and I do believe in going to church so please don't misunderstand me. But I have seen God's love in some amazing people who don't attend church. I have seen that people truly want to know that you are a person who loves the Lord but doesn't shove it in their face with an agenda behind it. I have some conservative views and I am entitled to those views but I also know that I am not perfect. I know that the minute I were to consider myself high and mighty I would be knocked off that high horse in a pile of mud. I can disagree with you and you can disagree with me but I love you because that is what a Christian does. I am intrigued by our differences and I am thankful for our similarities. I also warn you, that if you ask me to pray for you, I will turn into the Jesus freak that I am. I believe in the power of prayer. I know where I stand and where my future belongs. Heaven sure looks sweeter every day.
Lastly, I have come to the realization that the 30's are a great time in life. Sometimes I miss being able to stay awake all night and stumble in to work the next morning. Even though I don't miss those hangovers, I do miss the spontaneity of my younger years. But I know I will never be in that body again even though I bust my behind running to get there. The knees and ankles give out just about the point my six pack is about to appear. And it doesn't have anything to do with eating sweets! I am not always proper and with age I have lost my filter has become a little loose. I do need a little more makeup to cover up almost 35 years of living but hey at least I have the money to buy it. I am thankful I am married and not out in the dating scene anymore. I never was good at that anyway. Plus I would be trouble now out there with the confidence I have gained over the years. I am old enough to appreciate my husband and understand the male gender a little better but I am young enough to run around with my kids and not be considered uncool. I can still wear yoga pants and it be considered cute fashion. I don't even know what "mom" jeans are anyway. I can still remember Boyz 2 Men, Salt N Peppa, Guns N Roses, Bocephus and Prince. But I like to feed my old soul with some Percy Sledge and Donna Summer when I am at the house alone. Now I know I can still get down in my 30's. The day I can't dance will be the day I am done. But hey, there is dancing in Heaven. I am just not sure it is to Sir Mix Alot's "I like big butts." I surely cannot lie. Sorry, couldn't resist that one.
All in all, I thank the Lord for 2012. Thank you family, friends, coworkers, brothers and sisters in Christ for making it great. I am ready for God to knock my socks off in 2013! I anticipate getting to meet new people and I am thankful for the fabulous people that are already in my life. I look forward to waking up each morning with Bryan Rhodes. He makes my heart smile and touches my soul like no one else. I pray each of you has a blessed New Year! May you all receive a continuous dose of God's best. If your 2012 wasn't what you wanted it to be, I pray that 2013 is a step into a new direction. May you prosper in good health and finances. May you be surrounded by the ones you love and meet those who will leave footprints on your heart. May you influence those around you with your goodness, peace and love.
Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013!
Blessings to all!