Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A time to be still

Well it is almost time to embrace 2015.  Everyone is getting ready for New Years Eve celebrations and preparing New Years resolutions.  I am ready for the new year.  I am expecting a better year.  I mean 2014 wasn't horrible.  But this year brought two surgeries in our household and it was the busiest year ever.

January is both mine and Bryan's birthday month but we really weren't able to enjoy it due to his gallbladder surgery.  It has taken a while for him to get back to normal but we are thankful for a successful surgery and for the outpouring of prayers we received during that time.  Spring flew by but we ended up with a 13 and 9 year old in the process.  During the Summer, we played two select sports.  It was fun but so exhausting.  Every weekend was full of basketball or football.  Nothing makes me happier than watching my boys do what they love to do but honestly it can wear on you.  We enjoyed another great vacation in Garner with good friends.  Two of us got darker in the process and the other two may have got a little sunburned.

When Summer came to an end, we geared up for another school year.  Only this school year would be different because of the North/South split in BH.  Christian would have to split from kids that he has gone to school with since kindergarten.  Though I am still not a fan of the split, it hasn't been that bad.  Christian's group has a tight enough bond that they have been able to stay close to one another in spite of a divided line.  We have a great group of parents who ensure they stay close as well.  In September, we helped launch our church, Faith Family in Baytown.  I got to be a part of God's work and got to see Him move in big ways that far exceeded my expectations.  I gained a church family who has embraced my family and who inspire me to be a better person.  It has opened my eyes up in a whole different way.

The Fall is one of my favorite times of year because it is football season.  I love everything about football.  I love the camaraderie among the players.  I love the hard work that is put into it and the passion that it requires to play.  Both boys had great seasons.  Bo improved so much over the season.  He is the "cheerleader" per say with not one mean bone in his body.  He loves to just be with his friends and be part of the team.  Sometimes that is hard for our competitive sides to understand but we have learned so much watching him play.  Christian's season was full of deep breaths.  At the beginning we thought he would have to be out for the season thinking he broke his finger.  All the drama ended up being a wart that had ruptured on his finger.  Yes, you heard me right, it was a wart.  We were so relieved and so many jokes were made. 

Ironically enough, he really injured his finger the practice before his last game.  The boy was determined to play so we let him play thinking his finger was just a bad jam.  He played his last game and wrapped up the season on a win.  We went to the doctor the next day and it was broken.  Actually it was an unusual break and his finger was slightly displaced.  We would have to have surgery immediately.  I remember sitting in the office and the doctor saying no basketball for Christian.  I cried because my heart hurt.  Some of you may think that is silly because it is just a pinky finger and it is just basketball.  But I never like seeing my kids hurt and I don't like seeing disappointment on their face.  The nurse who was a very compassionate lady looked at me and said "It will all work out.  Sometimes God uses these times because He wants you to be still."  I did not like hearing those words but those words stuck with me throughout all of this.

Still...God wants me to be still.  We run all of the time.  We are on the go at least 6 days a week.  Sure it is all things we choose and love to do.  But when do we rest?  I talk to God daily but am I actually still enough to hear His voice?  It is funny when things happen to you or one of your kids it seems like the biggest thing.  But the world doesn't stop moving and people don't stop living for your circumstances.  But there is a time for you to go and a time to be still.  There is a time to play and a time to sit out.  There is a time to laugh and a time to cry.  But through it all, God is still God and He does not change.  His words and promises remain true.

So we made it through surgery and went through therapy only to be disappointed when the doctor did not think Christian was working hard enough.  His sharp warnings to Christian however lit a fire under him to work harder to get his finger back to where it needed to be.  Plus there was the threat of not being able to make it back on the basketball court before the season ended.  My son has had things not go his way and has had a couple of set of stitches but has never been through true adversity.  This was a time for him to sit on the sidelines and cheer his team mates on.  He was there to celebrate in their wins and individual accomplishments.  This was a time for him to see just how bad he wanted to be back on the court and how much he was willing to work to get back out there.  He worked his finger every day.  We prayed every day.  We rejoiced still in how blessed we already are as a family.  We prayed even more for others needing healing and going through far worse trials than we were.

Christian's next appointment was scheduled for this morning.  For days, my sleep was interrupted.  I would grab my own pinky and go through each part praying for it as if it were his.  Yes, I am one of those crazy moms.  I prayed the Lord would know the desires of Christian's heart and would care about what mattered to him.  I called all my prayer warrior friends and family and asked them to pray because I believe in the power of prayer.  I asked God to prepare us and give us peace if the doctor still said he wasn't ready and needed to stay out longer.  I couldn't even go to the appointment myself.  Bryan drove him because even though I can pray some serious prayers, I am still an emotional mom.  Bryan always does better in these circumstances.

As I sit here and write, I can only give God all the glory.  Our ultra conservative doctor took one look at Christian, had him make a fist and straighten his finger, and released him.  When Bryan called me, I broke down.  My heart was happy!  But once again, I am humbled by the goodness of God.  He listens when I pray.  He listens when you pray.  He loves Christian more than I love Christian.  God amazes me that He can heal cancers and livers and kidneys.  But he also amazes me that He can heal broken pinkies and heal tissues and tendons.  Yes, He cares about those small things too!
There is something to be said about man's inner spirit and our will to live and overcome all that life throws at us.  We will have times in our lives when tough things will happen.  Some things will be out of our control and some things will happen by our own doing.  But every thing that happens is a part of our life story.  God gave us this life to live.  We will fall.  We will break.  We will cry.  But with God it is possible to get back up.  It is possible to heal the brokenness.  It is possible to smile in the midst of adversity.  I am thankful I serve a God who is big enough to take care of the huge things but doesn't forget about the smallest details of our lives.

I don't like to make New Years resolutions.  But I am working on simplifying my life to allow for the magnificent things God has for me and my family.  I will work on being still more so that I can hear His voice.  Don't ask me yet how I plan on accomplishing that.  I don't have a plan but I know God has a plan.  And even though I always think I have it all figured out, He shows me that His ways are not my ways.  His ways are always better than mine.

Praying you and your family have great 2015!  Take time to be still and listen to God.  He just may have something awesome in store for you.

Hope

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