Since Bo was about two years old, we have been going to Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels. It has become a family tradition of sorts. We skipped going there the last two years because of other vacations and busy Summers. Though we enjoyed the other experiences very much, we realized how much we truly missed going to Schlitterbahn. Maybe taking a break for the last couple of years helped us enjoy our time there even more this year. This year I walked away with five personally important thoughts.
1. I don't have a bikini body...
I dread having to go to a water park in a bathing suit. I know there are many people who go and could care less about what anyone else is saying about their figure. I wish I was like that. Unless everything on my body is still in the shape it is suppose to be in and holding up like it is suppose to be, you won't find me in an itsy bitsy bikini. Thumbs up to the ladies who can still rock them. It impresses me to see the 40 year old woman still looking beast mode in one and I truly admire their commitment to staying in shape. I know as you get older keeping the fat off just gets harder. So when I see someone older who has an extremely fit figure I can't help but applaud them. But in saying all of that, I know that my kids don't think any less of me. There I am in my mom bathing suit top with swim shorts to cover my back side and a visor to top it off. I make some comment about me being fat and Bo sweetly tells me how beautiful I am. That gives me the confidence to keep walking around in my mom suit. But it also makes me want to work harder for the better body. Overall, I want to just be in shape. I want a healthy heart. Since I have been working out again, I realized that walking and climbing stairs is much easier. I want to be healthy so that I can continue to enjoy the waterpark with my kids for many more years to come. Yes I want the perfect body but I just can't commit to giving up that chocolate candy I love so much. Did I mention I had ice cream three nights in a row? Cheers to mom tops, swim shorts and visors!
2. I still have maternal instincts...
I can honestly say that each year as my boys get older, the waterpark has gotten easier. When we started Bo was still in a pull up. Now that both of my boys can ride every ride and can swim with ease, things are much more enjoyable. Several years ago we had a scare with Bo. He had learned to swim but wasn't a strong swimmer. We were at the 3rd park in Schlitterbahn which has a fast flowing river. He was in a tube and I held on to his tube. Bryan convinced me to let Bo go and that he would be fine. So I let go. I got turned around for a second and Bryan had his eyes solely on Christian. In a flash we couldn't find Bo. I don't usually panic but a rush of emotions came over me. Bryan went around the river and I was frantically swimming towards the entrance of the river. I finally see Bo and noticed he had jumped out of his tube and was headed towards the entrance so he could get out. But since he wasn't a strong swimmer and the current was swift, he was going under. I yelled to a lady to help him and she grabbed him for me. After chewing him out, I remember being overcome with relief and thankfulness that he was ok. This year he was fully capable of going without a tube on the same torrent river. So we let him go around with Christian while Bryan and I took our time going around. After the first lap, I asked Bryan if he saw them. He hadn't seen them. So I stopped where I was and waited until they came around in my eye sight. Something in me, something maternal just comes out. I wanted to know that Bo was ok. I knew he had his older brother with him but I wanted to put my eyes on him. I wasn't moving forward until I knew things were under control. I can't help but think this is how God is with us. He lets us go into tough currents at times. He knows we can swim but His eye never leaves us. He is watching and if we need help he will be there to lift us up. He is our Father. And mothers and fathers always look out for their kids.
3. There is still a chance you will get burned...
With all of the increase in cases of skin cancer, we know that it is necessary to apply sunscreen. Christian and I have a brown layer already so we don't normally burn in the sun. We just keep getting darker. Bo is light skinned but will get a bronze color in the Summer. And then there is Bryan. He is the pale one in the family. We all made sure that we applied sun screen. Though I have never had a sun burn, I have seen Bryan and Bo both in that state and we didn't want that to happen again. The first day at the park was overcast so our skin survived with little sun. The second day the sun was fierce. We reapplied a few times to ensure we were all protected. When we got back to the hotel, Bryan knew that he was burned. Sure enough he was red all over. He took every precaution to prevent it and yet it still happened. Did we not re apply often enough? Did we not use a good brand of sun screen? Who knows? Bottom line is he is dealing with a sun burn. Thank God for Aloe Vera! As silly as it may seem, I can't help but relate it to life. Sometimes you can do everything to prepare. Sometimes you will take every step to make sure things turn out right. And even though you do what you can you still may get burned. People will hurt you. You won't get the promotion or the position you want. You will be taken advantage of and feel unappreciated. But again thank God that He can soothe the burn. He will give you the courage to forgive. He will open other doors that no one else can. He will show you how special you are and will encourage you to step out again. The burn is only temporary. Take time to soothe the burn but then get back out and enjoy the sun again.
4. Compromise for those you love...
I am so relieved that we are past all of the kiddie park areas. Yes the little toddlers are so cute in their little diapers and swim suits. But come on! How many times can you sit there and watch them go down the same little mushroom slide? Ok maybe some of you can but I don't have that much patience. We had done just about every ride in all three parks and were ready to call it a day. Bo wanted to go and do the little rope obstacle course in one of the small kid areas. Reluctantly we all went and sat in the 3 ft. deep water and waited for him to have his turn. He had about five kids in front of him. It seemed like the line took forever but we all made sure we kept our eye on Bo. He was checking to see if all three of us were watching. It was his moment. It is what he wanted to do. He is the youngest and he gets pulled everywhere we want to go. We owed it to him to do what he wanted to do. So there we all three sat amongst all the little kids waiting for our boy to get his turn. When he was done we all smiled and complimented him. His smile was enough for me. When you love someone, you have to compromise. It isn't all about you. What makes them happy? It may be small to you but it could mean the world to them. We often get caught up in leading our lives that we forget there is someone there following. Though they may not complain and follow contently, stop and ask where they want to go. They may just take you on a journey that you have never been on. Get a glimpse into their dreams. See what makes them smile. Their smile could bless you in so many ways. A little bit of compromise can lead to a whole lot of blessing.
5. Embrace the moment...
Bryan and I gave the kids a choice this year of taking one friend each on the trip or just going as a family. To our surprise they chose for us to just go as a family. Bryan and I embraced the fact that this may be the last time they like hanging out with just us. It was so refreshing just having our two boys with us. We talked, we laughed, and we argued like a family. We talked about how it won't be like this forever. Friends and girlfriends will probably tag along at some point. Don't get me wrong, I love having people with us. But I cherished the fact that we could still enjoy our time together as a family of four. My boys actually got along for the most part. They acted like brothers. Every ride was a competition. Who would finish first? Whose tube could get in front of the other? I know girls will come a long at some point and that is perfectly fine. Although I can't imagine Bryan around a girl. He is way too protective and just looking at all the young girls in their bathing suits at the water park, I am afraid Bryan would want to completely keep her locked up and covered up. Only time will tell. I think Bryan and I smiled the whole time because this trip was refreshing. Our heart is just so full of love for our two boys. When I sit back and watch them I can see myself and Bryan in them. Each night we ate dinner we prayed as usual over our meal. I couldn't help but give thanks to God for giving us this time together. This is time we won't get back. All through the park I saw people with phones, go pros and selfie sticks. Though I thought it would be cool to capture some pictures, I was glad to be able to have the memories embedded in my heart and soul. Embrace the moment.
You may think it is silly that I got all of this from a waterpark. But I like learning life lessons through experiences. I can't help but smile and be thankful that we were able to take time out and enjoy each other with no distractions. I love seeing God in everything. I love knowing that He is with us wherever we go. Now it is back to work and back to schedules. Bills are still coming in and responsibilities still have to be fulfilled. For a moment though, we were able to laugh, lay back on a tube, and just enjoy the ride.
"My head is under water but I am breathing fine"
Thank you Lord!
Friday, July 10, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Perfect
In my last blog I talked about trying to simplify my life. So you may be wondering how that is going. Truth is, I don't know that I have slowed down enough to know if I have simplified things or not. I have tried not to post as much on social media. Our Pastor hit on social media a bit in his message. He was encouraging us to not get caught up in other people's lives. Sometimes we get a false sense of who people really are because they post what they want you to see. I try to post mostly positive things and that is truly a direct reflection of who I am. I definitely don't want people to think my life is perfect though. Only with God's help am I able to stay grounded in the midst of this crazy world.
My marriage is wonderful but not perfect. Bryan and I went out on our first date 18 years ago on Valentines Day. People always told me the first 5 years of marriage would be rough. But I didn't think those years were all that bad. We really have grown up together. I do remember a time when we argued over something stupid and I threatened to leave him. We were newly married and I thought I would say that to him and he would come running after me and profess his undying love for me. I remember he looked at me and sternly said "Hope, if you walk out that door don't come back. I am not going to spend the rest of my life playing games like this. I am not coming after you." Somehow I knew he was serious and I stayed. That was the best thing he could have said in that moment. We laugh about that argument still till this day. I have never attempted that threat again. We have laughed so much throughout our marriage. We have both cried. We have both had moments where life has taken a toll. But neither of us has ever quit giving our all. I am sure there are times when he wants to get away from me because I am nagging. And there are times I could hit him. But there are more days when I look at him and know that my life doesn't work without him. He is my best friend. If people ever ask me for marriage advice, I always tell them to put God first, laugh a lot, don't go home crying to momma and don't sweat the small stuff. My mom told me something that has always stuck with me. Sometimes you just want to scream because he leaves his underwear or shoes on the floor. But it is just as easy at times to just pick them up, smile and go on about your business. I believe life can be hard but loving my husband is easy.
My kids are great but not perfect either. Christian was the horrible baby. There were times when I was like please just make this baby stop crying. He cried at every Christmas performance through his years at daycare. He ended up going to school without all of that crying mess and has turned out to be an excellent student. But I remember the time in 3rd grade when he forged our signature because the teacher caught him writing down a word that was in his library book about a female dog. I was in disbelief but I am not one to assume that my kids won't mess up. Bryan was working loss prevention at the time and had to interrogate people who were stealing or being dishonest at their job. So Bryan came home and sat Christian down, and basically interrogated him like a criminal. Christian finally broke and came clean. I think there was spanking, grounding and apologizing and a whole lot of crying involved in all of that. Since then he really hasn't had any other mishaps at school. Sure we are getting into the teenage years. Every time I try to tell him something he replies quickly with the "I already know mom" line. Of course I won't be outdone so I am sure to get the last word every time.
Bo, on the other hand, was an easy baby but ever so hard to potty train. He is Mr. Social but that has gotten him in trouble several times. His teacher last year called me into a conference and spent fifteen minutes telling he how wonderful my son is but that he was beginning to talk a little too much in class. She told me how she didn't want me to go home and get on to him. I told her that I would address it and that if I didn't address things like this then she wouldn't be complimenting my child as much as she had. My kids know that if you get in trouble at school you are going to get it at home too. I have prayed so much for them but I have found myself praying even more lately. I have asked God for guidance so many times. They are growing up, growing up fast and in a world full of chaos. I know they are just one choice away from making a mistake. I know that things I thought they may never do, they just might. I pray that I am making the right decisions for them and for their future. Am I pushing too hard or not enough? Do I give them enough responsibilities? Do I let them fall or do I do my best to protect them? Do I say no when everyone else is saying yes? Is saying no my need for control or is it truly what is best for them? Do I say yes when everyone else is saying no because it is what is right for my son? These are all questions that play over and over in my mind. And I know I have to seek God for the answers. A mom's heart is forever longing for her kids to feel loved and secure and to always know that she will be there through it all.
My life is so worth living but definitely not perfect. My house has torn up carpet from my goofy dog that hasn't been repaired. I have debt that I need to pay off. My garage is a tripping hazard right now. We get it all cleaned and then something happens and it ends up back in the same messed up shape. My car hasn't been washed in a month. I have relationships that have gone sour and I honestly don't know how to fix them other than through prayer. I have gone off on my kids because I was just having a bad day. I have let people down. I have opened my mouth when I shouldn't have. I have lost my cool at a sporting event. I have a crooked face still from bells palsy but I am more than healed. I have been angry at God. The truth is I am pretty messed up.
But I do know that God is perfect. And He perfectly pursues us. I don't believe in karma. Yes, I believe that you reap what you sow. But I don't believe that every mistake you make or everything you do wrong will haunt you forever. I believe in God's grace and forgiveness. He never gives me exactly what I deserve. I have messed up plenty and His grace has been right there to scoop me back up and help me get on the right path. See as humans we aren't perfect and that is ok. We will hold each other to standards sometimes that are unfair. People will let you down and hurt your feelings. But people can't satisfy all of your needs or desires. There is only One who can do that. We forget to let God handle all the things that we can't.
I say all of this to show that sometimes I don't want to put myself out there because I never want to paint a false picture of who I am. I am a child of God and at times I act just like a child, a selfish brat to be exact. God is with me each and every day. Many times He has to step in and perfect all of the imperfections. My life is not perfect. Just like you, I am constantly seeking His guidance and perfect will for my life.
May you rest in His perfect word and know that His love is perfect!
My marriage is wonderful but not perfect. Bryan and I went out on our first date 18 years ago on Valentines Day. People always told me the first 5 years of marriage would be rough. But I didn't think those years were all that bad. We really have grown up together. I do remember a time when we argued over something stupid and I threatened to leave him. We were newly married and I thought I would say that to him and he would come running after me and profess his undying love for me. I remember he looked at me and sternly said "Hope, if you walk out that door don't come back. I am not going to spend the rest of my life playing games like this. I am not coming after you." Somehow I knew he was serious and I stayed. That was the best thing he could have said in that moment. We laugh about that argument still till this day. I have never attempted that threat again. We have laughed so much throughout our marriage. We have both cried. We have both had moments where life has taken a toll. But neither of us has ever quit giving our all. I am sure there are times when he wants to get away from me because I am nagging. And there are times I could hit him. But there are more days when I look at him and know that my life doesn't work without him. He is my best friend. If people ever ask me for marriage advice, I always tell them to put God first, laugh a lot, don't go home crying to momma and don't sweat the small stuff. My mom told me something that has always stuck with me. Sometimes you just want to scream because he leaves his underwear or shoes on the floor. But it is just as easy at times to just pick them up, smile and go on about your business. I believe life can be hard but loving my husband is easy.
My kids are great but not perfect either. Christian was the horrible baby. There were times when I was like please just make this baby stop crying. He cried at every Christmas performance through his years at daycare. He ended up going to school without all of that crying mess and has turned out to be an excellent student. But I remember the time in 3rd grade when he forged our signature because the teacher caught him writing down a word that was in his library book about a female dog. I was in disbelief but I am not one to assume that my kids won't mess up. Bryan was working loss prevention at the time and had to interrogate people who were stealing or being dishonest at their job. So Bryan came home and sat Christian down, and basically interrogated him like a criminal. Christian finally broke and came clean. I think there was spanking, grounding and apologizing and a whole lot of crying involved in all of that. Since then he really hasn't had any other mishaps at school. Sure we are getting into the teenage years. Every time I try to tell him something he replies quickly with the "I already know mom" line. Of course I won't be outdone so I am sure to get the last word every time.
Bo, on the other hand, was an easy baby but ever so hard to potty train. He is Mr. Social but that has gotten him in trouble several times. His teacher last year called me into a conference and spent fifteen minutes telling he how wonderful my son is but that he was beginning to talk a little too much in class. She told me how she didn't want me to go home and get on to him. I told her that I would address it and that if I didn't address things like this then she wouldn't be complimenting my child as much as she had. My kids know that if you get in trouble at school you are going to get it at home too. I have prayed so much for them but I have found myself praying even more lately. I have asked God for guidance so many times. They are growing up, growing up fast and in a world full of chaos. I know they are just one choice away from making a mistake. I know that things I thought they may never do, they just might. I pray that I am making the right decisions for them and for their future. Am I pushing too hard or not enough? Do I give them enough responsibilities? Do I let them fall or do I do my best to protect them? Do I say no when everyone else is saying yes? Is saying no my need for control or is it truly what is best for them? Do I say yes when everyone else is saying no because it is what is right for my son? These are all questions that play over and over in my mind. And I know I have to seek God for the answers. A mom's heart is forever longing for her kids to feel loved and secure and to always know that she will be there through it all.
My life is so worth living but definitely not perfect. My house has torn up carpet from my goofy dog that hasn't been repaired. I have debt that I need to pay off. My garage is a tripping hazard right now. We get it all cleaned and then something happens and it ends up back in the same messed up shape. My car hasn't been washed in a month. I have relationships that have gone sour and I honestly don't know how to fix them other than through prayer. I have gone off on my kids because I was just having a bad day. I have let people down. I have opened my mouth when I shouldn't have. I have lost my cool at a sporting event. I have a crooked face still from bells palsy but I am more than healed. I have been angry at God. The truth is I am pretty messed up.
But I do know that God is perfect. And He perfectly pursues us. I don't believe in karma. Yes, I believe that you reap what you sow. But I don't believe that every mistake you make or everything you do wrong will haunt you forever. I believe in God's grace and forgiveness. He never gives me exactly what I deserve. I have messed up plenty and His grace has been right there to scoop me back up and help me get on the right path. See as humans we aren't perfect and that is ok. We will hold each other to standards sometimes that are unfair. People will let you down and hurt your feelings. But people can't satisfy all of your needs or desires. There is only One who can do that. We forget to let God handle all the things that we can't.
I say all of this to show that sometimes I don't want to put myself out there because I never want to paint a false picture of who I am. I am a child of God and at times I act just like a child, a selfish brat to be exact. God is with me each and every day. Many times He has to step in and perfect all of the imperfections. My life is not perfect. Just like you, I am constantly seeking His guidance and perfect will for my life.
May you rest in His perfect word and know that His love is perfect!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
A time to be still
Well it is almost time to embrace 2015. Everyone is getting ready for New Years Eve celebrations and preparing New Years resolutions. I am ready for the new year. I am expecting a better year. I mean 2014 wasn't horrible. But this year brought two surgeries in our household and it was the busiest year ever.
January is both mine and Bryan's birthday month but we really weren't able to enjoy it due to his gallbladder surgery. It has taken a while for him to get back to normal but we are thankful for a successful surgery and for the outpouring of prayers we received during that time. Spring flew by but we ended up with a 13 and 9 year old in the process. During the Summer, we played two select sports. It was fun but so exhausting. Every weekend was full of basketball or football. Nothing makes me happier than watching my boys do what they love to do but honestly it can wear on you. We enjoyed another great vacation in Garner with good friends. Two of us got darker in the process and the other two may have got a little sunburned.
When Summer came to an end, we geared up for another school year. Only this school year would be different because of the North/South split in BH. Christian would have to split from kids that he has gone to school with since kindergarten. Though I am still not a fan of the split, it hasn't been that bad. Christian's group has a tight enough bond that they have been able to stay close to one another in spite of a divided line. We have a great group of parents who ensure they stay close as well. In September, we helped launch our church, Faith Family in Baytown. I got to be a part of God's work and got to see Him move in big ways that far exceeded my expectations. I gained a church family who has embraced my family and who inspire me to be a better person. It has opened my eyes up in a whole different way.
The Fall is one of my favorite times of year because it is football season. I love everything about football. I love the camaraderie among the players. I love the hard work that is put into it and the passion that it requires to play. Both boys had great seasons. Bo improved so much over the season. He is the "cheerleader" per say with not one mean bone in his body. He loves to just be with his friends and be part of the team. Sometimes that is hard for our competitive sides to understand but we have learned so much watching him play. Christian's season was full of deep breaths. At the beginning we thought he would have to be out for the season thinking he broke his finger. All the drama ended up being a wart that had ruptured on his finger. Yes, you heard me right, it was a wart. We were so relieved and so many jokes were made.
Ironically enough, he really injured his finger the practice before his last game. The boy was determined to play so we let him play thinking his finger was just a bad jam. He played his last game and wrapped up the season on a win. We went to the doctor the next day and it was broken. Actually it was an unusual break and his finger was slightly displaced. We would have to have surgery immediately. I remember sitting in the office and the doctor saying no basketball for Christian. I cried because my heart hurt. Some of you may think that is silly because it is just a pinky finger and it is just basketball. But I never like seeing my kids hurt and I don't like seeing disappointment on their face. The nurse who was a very compassionate lady looked at me and said "It will all work out. Sometimes God uses these times because He wants you to be still." I did not like hearing those words but those words stuck with me throughout all of this.
Still...God wants me to be still. We run all of the time. We are on the go at least 6 days a week. Sure it is all things we choose and love to do. But when do we rest? I talk to God daily but am I actually still enough to hear His voice? It is funny when things happen to you or one of your kids it seems like the biggest thing. But the world doesn't stop moving and people don't stop living for your circumstances. But there is a time for you to go and a time to be still. There is a time to play and a time to sit out. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. But through it all, God is still God and He does not change. His words and promises remain true.
So we made it through surgery and went through therapy only to be disappointed when the doctor did not think Christian was working hard enough. His sharp warnings to Christian however lit a fire under him to work harder to get his finger back to where it needed to be. Plus there was the threat of not being able to make it back on the basketball court before the season ended. My son has had things not go his way and has had a couple of set of stitches but has never been through true adversity. This was a time for him to sit on the sidelines and cheer his team mates on. He was there to celebrate in their wins and individual accomplishments. This was a time for him to see just how bad he wanted to be back on the court and how much he was willing to work to get back out there. He worked his finger every day. We prayed every day. We rejoiced still in how blessed we already are as a family. We prayed even more for others needing healing and going through far worse trials than we were.
Christian's next appointment was scheduled for this morning. For days, my sleep was interrupted. I would grab my own pinky and go through each part praying for it as if it were his. Yes, I am one of those crazy moms. I prayed the Lord would know the desires of Christian's heart and would care about what mattered to him. I called all my prayer warrior friends and family and asked them to pray because I believe in the power of prayer. I asked God to prepare us and give us peace if the doctor still said he wasn't ready and needed to stay out longer. I couldn't even go to the appointment myself. Bryan drove him because even though I can pray some serious prayers, I am still an emotional mom. Bryan always does better in these circumstances.
As I sit here and write, I can only give God all the glory. Our ultra conservative doctor took one look at Christian, had him make a fist and straighten his finger, and released him. When Bryan called me, I broke down. My heart was happy! But once again, I am humbled by the goodness of God. He listens when I pray. He listens when you pray. He loves Christian more than I love Christian. God amazes me that He can heal cancers and livers and kidneys. But he also amazes me that He can heal broken pinkies and heal tissues and tendons. Yes, He cares about those small things too!
There is something to be said about man's inner spirit and our will to live and overcome all that life throws at us. We will have times in our lives when tough things will happen. Some things will be out of our control and some things will happen by our own doing. But every thing that happens is a part of our life story. God gave us this life to live. We will fall. We will break. We will cry. But with God it is possible to get back up. It is possible to heal the brokenness. It is possible to smile in the midst of adversity. I am thankful I serve a God who is big enough to take care of the huge things but doesn't forget about the smallest details of our lives.
I don't like to make New Years resolutions. But I am working on simplifying my life to allow for the magnificent things God has for me and my family. I will work on being still more so that I can hear His voice. Don't ask me yet how I plan on accomplishing that. I don't have a plan but I know God has a plan. And even though I always think I have it all figured out, He shows me that His ways are not my ways. His ways are always better than mine.
Praying you and your family have great 2015! Take time to be still and listen to God. He just may have something awesome in store for you.
Hope
January is both mine and Bryan's birthday month but we really weren't able to enjoy it due to his gallbladder surgery. It has taken a while for him to get back to normal but we are thankful for a successful surgery and for the outpouring of prayers we received during that time. Spring flew by but we ended up with a 13 and 9 year old in the process. During the Summer, we played two select sports. It was fun but so exhausting. Every weekend was full of basketball or football. Nothing makes me happier than watching my boys do what they love to do but honestly it can wear on you. We enjoyed another great vacation in Garner with good friends. Two of us got darker in the process and the other two may have got a little sunburned.
When Summer came to an end, we geared up for another school year. Only this school year would be different because of the North/South split in BH. Christian would have to split from kids that he has gone to school with since kindergarten. Though I am still not a fan of the split, it hasn't been that bad. Christian's group has a tight enough bond that they have been able to stay close to one another in spite of a divided line. We have a great group of parents who ensure they stay close as well. In September, we helped launch our church, Faith Family in Baytown. I got to be a part of God's work and got to see Him move in big ways that far exceeded my expectations. I gained a church family who has embraced my family and who inspire me to be a better person. It has opened my eyes up in a whole different way.
The Fall is one of my favorite times of year because it is football season. I love everything about football. I love the camaraderie among the players. I love the hard work that is put into it and the passion that it requires to play. Both boys had great seasons. Bo improved so much over the season. He is the "cheerleader" per say with not one mean bone in his body. He loves to just be with his friends and be part of the team. Sometimes that is hard for our competitive sides to understand but we have learned so much watching him play. Christian's season was full of deep breaths. At the beginning we thought he would have to be out for the season thinking he broke his finger. All the drama ended up being a wart that had ruptured on his finger. Yes, you heard me right, it was a wart. We were so relieved and so many jokes were made.
Ironically enough, he really injured his finger the practice before his last game. The boy was determined to play so we let him play thinking his finger was just a bad jam. He played his last game and wrapped up the season on a win. We went to the doctor the next day and it was broken. Actually it was an unusual break and his finger was slightly displaced. We would have to have surgery immediately. I remember sitting in the office and the doctor saying no basketball for Christian. I cried because my heart hurt. Some of you may think that is silly because it is just a pinky finger and it is just basketball. But I never like seeing my kids hurt and I don't like seeing disappointment on their face. The nurse who was a very compassionate lady looked at me and said "It will all work out. Sometimes God uses these times because He wants you to be still." I did not like hearing those words but those words stuck with me throughout all of this.
Still...God wants me to be still. We run all of the time. We are on the go at least 6 days a week. Sure it is all things we choose and love to do. But when do we rest? I talk to God daily but am I actually still enough to hear His voice? It is funny when things happen to you or one of your kids it seems like the biggest thing. But the world doesn't stop moving and people don't stop living for your circumstances. But there is a time for you to go and a time to be still. There is a time to play and a time to sit out. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. But through it all, God is still God and He does not change. His words and promises remain true.
So we made it through surgery and went through therapy only to be disappointed when the doctor did not think Christian was working hard enough. His sharp warnings to Christian however lit a fire under him to work harder to get his finger back to where it needed to be. Plus there was the threat of not being able to make it back on the basketball court before the season ended. My son has had things not go his way and has had a couple of set of stitches but has never been through true adversity. This was a time for him to sit on the sidelines and cheer his team mates on. He was there to celebrate in their wins and individual accomplishments. This was a time for him to see just how bad he wanted to be back on the court and how much he was willing to work to get back out there. He worked his finger every day. We prayed every day. We rejoiced still in how blessed we already are as a family. We prayed even more for others needing healing and going through far worse trials than we were.
Christian's next appointment was scheduled for this morning. For days, my sleep was interrupted. I would grab my own pinky and go through each part praying for it as if it were his. Yes, I am one of those crazy moms. I prayed the Lord would know the desires of Christian's heart and would care about what mattered to him. I called all my prayer warrior friends and family and asked them to pray because I believe in the power of prayer. I asked God to prepare us and give us peace if the doctor still said he wasn't ready and needed to stay out longer. I couldn't even go to the appointment myself. Bryan drove him because even though I can pray some serious prayers, I am still an emotional mom. Bryan always does better in these circumstances.
As I sit here and write, I can only give God all the glory. Our ultra conservative doctor took one look at Christian, had him make a fist and straighten his finger, and released him. When Bryan called me, I broke down. My heart was happy! But once again, I am humbled by the goodness of God. He listens when I pray. He listens when you pray. He loves Christian more than I love Christian. God amazes me that He can heal cancers and livers and kidneys. But he also amazes me that He can heal broken pinkies and heal tissues and tendons. Yes, He cares about those small things too!
There is something to be said about man's inner spirit and our will to live and overcome all that life throws at us. We will have times in our lives when tough things will happen. Some things will be out of our control and some things will happen by our own doing. But every thing that happens is a part of our life story. God gave us this life to live. We will fall. We will break. We will cry. But with God it is possible to get back up. It is possible to heal the brokenness. It is possible to smile in the midst of adversity. I am thankful I serve a God who is big enough to take care of the huge things but doesn't forget about the smallest details of our lives.
I don't like to make New Years resolutions. But I am working on simplifying my life to allow for the magnificent things God has for me and my family. I will work on being still more so that I can hear His voice. Don't ask me yet how I plan on accomplishing that. I don't have a plan but I know God has a plan. And even though I always think I have it all figured out, He shows me that His ways are not my ways. His ways are always better than mine.
Praying you and your family have great 2015! Take time to be still and listen to God. He just may have something awesome in store for you.
Hope
Friday, November 14, 2014
Pure Randomness
I guess I didn't realize that it has been this long since I wrote last. Honestly, so much has been going on that I didn't even think that I could organize my thoughts enough to get them on paper. Life has been a whirlwind lately. It is just moving and it seems to go by faster each and every day.
Over the last few months, I was able to be a part of my new church's launch. I can't even begin to describe how alive I feel in my spirit these days. It has been a lot of hard work alongside some amazing people. To say it has been great would be an understatement. I have seen people in a way that I haven't in a long time. I find myself having a heart for the hurting, the broken-hearted and the sick more than ever before. I have always loved people but I think I was stuck in my own world for a while. I could see people but the path to get to them seemed too hard to travel or it was just my blurred vision. My heart has opened up again. Since all of this, I have had mended relationships. I had to let go of some things and pick up right where the relationship left off. Nonetheless my heart has been able to love the ones I thought were unlovable. I have been able to look past the opinions of others and give people a chance. We often miss the opportunities to meet great people because we let others influence our opinions of those people. Open your heart. Sure you may get let down at times or hurt but I can guarantee that your heart will still beat. And as long as it is still beating then there is love in it ready to be shared with others. When you let God in, He makes it easy for you to pour out His goodness, love and mercy.
I also got to see answered prayer when one of my friends finished chemo and found out that her cancer is gone. I don't know when was the last time I prayed for something so diligently and with such confidence. Through her battle, I was able to see a community come together and friendships become even stronger. Many tears were shed through the journey. At times they were sad tears but like God's word says "though the sorrow may last through the night, joy comes in the morning." I know so many who are dealing with cancer right now. Cancer is an ugly word. But I know what God did for my friend, He would gladly do for anyone. He orchestrated divine appointments and friendships and I am so thankful that I was able to be a part of such a beautiful story. There were touching moments that will forever be embedded in my heart and mind. I am looking forward to many more years with my friend. Don't walk the paths of life alone. Grab someone special and let God show you the way. The journey will be worth it.
One thing that hasn't changed since my last post is that I am still raising two boys who challenge me each day. Bo keeps me smiling and laughing. He has a personality that just leaves an impression on everyone he meets. He is the child who wants to be a part of everything. He is very compassionate and is always thinking of ways to make someone smile. Right now I am battling the splitting of my time. I felt guilty quite often these past few months for leaving Bo at practices so I could go watch Christian's games or go to meetings. And because he has an older brother who is very active, I am always trying to make sure that I acknowledge Bo's accomplishments no matter how big or small. He is the child that gets super excited when he is chosen to be Eagle of the Month or who gets to sing in the choir on Veteran's Day. He wants to make sure Mom and Dad are there to see him. It doesn't matter how many times I hear "God Bless the USA" in a high pitched 9 year old voice, I had better act like I love it like it was my first time hearing it. I pray every day that I am showing him love and that he feels special and affirmed for the talents and gifts that he possesses. You would think since he is the baby that he gets spoiled but sometimes I feel like he gets the shaft. Does any one else ever feel this way?
Things are totally different with Christian. He has kept me on my toes recently. There is so much change that goes on with boys at this age. You have moments when they still rely on you like they did when they were little and then there are times when they open their mouth and you think you are talking to a grown man. He picks on me daily and I have come to accept that this is the way he shows me love. When it comes to him, I constantly have to ask for direction from God. Since he doesn't give me details, I have had to learn when to push and when to back off. If I ask too many questions he shuts down. Then there will be those special times when he opens up and I just have to be silent and soak it all in. I feel like I learn so much from him. He was that baby that cried all of the time and when I look back on those days, I thank the Lord we are at this point in life. Now I am the one crying with each new adventure he takes us on. But with each new step, I have had so many opportunities to say "Man that kid makes me proud!"
Raising boys is more fun than I ever thought it would be. My patience has been taken to new levels. I have learned to not panic. I have learned that they never really grow up and that is perfectly fine. I see my boys laughing and giggling at something only boys would. Just when I want to correct them, I look at my husband and see him laughing and giggling at the same thing. Boys can be gentlemen and they can be respectful. Boys will pick you up just to show you how strong they are. They will laugh at fart noises. They will make anything into some sort of weapon. Boys have a strong bond, kind of like a locker room bond with one another. It is a relation that most of us girls will never truly understand. Boys will call each other names and still come back together. Boys will think your crazy when you break down and cry because you can't put into words just how much you love them. Boys will like girls. And you will learn to care about those girls because you embrace what your boys care about. But isn't that how God is? God cares about what we care about even down to the smallest detail. Boys will make you pray more. You will pray for good friends, good girls, bones to not be broken and a whole lot of other things. Boys will open doors, take out the trash and get something off the top shelf for you. Boys will make you proud to be their momma.
So this is the re-cap of my life over the last few months. I have had to "hide my crazy" a few times. This time has been one of the most hectic seasons in my life. But it has also been a season full of revelation. I am working on being a better Hope. I won't have all the answers. I won't have it all together. I won't have the cleanest house. I won't be the perfect parent. I won't always say the right thing. But, I will be transparent enough to admit my faults and shortcomings. I will learn from my mistakes. I will love my kids and honor my husband. I will tell you that there is hope in any situation. I will spread the love of Jesus!
Blessings to you and yours!
Over the last few months, I was able to be a part of my new church's launch. I can't even begin to describe how alive I feel in my spirit these days. It has been a lot of hard work alongside some amazing people. To say it has been great would be an understatement. I have seen people in a way that I haven't in a long time. I find myself having a heart for the hurting, the broken-hearted and the sick more than ever before. I have always loved people but I think I was stuck in my own world for a while. I could see people but the path to get to them seemed too hard to travel or it was just my blurred vision. My heart has opened up again. Since all of this, I have had mended relationships. I had to let go of some things and pick up right where the relationship left off. Nonetheless my heart has been able to love the ones I thought were unlovable. I have been able to look past the opinions of others and give people a chance. We often miss the opportunities to meet great people because we let others influence our opinions of those people. Open your heart. Sure you may get let down at times or hurt but I can guarantee that your heart will still beat. And as long as it is still beating then there is love in it ready to be shared with others. When you let God in, He makes it easy for you to pour out His goodness, love and mercy.
I also got to see answered prayer when one of my friends finished chemo and found out that her cancer is gone. I don't know when was the last time I prayed for something so diligently and with such confidence. Through her battle, I was able to see a community come together and friendships become even stronger. Many tears were shed through the journey. At times they were sad tears but like God's word says "though the sorrow may last through the night, joy comes in the morning." I know so many who are dealing with cancer right now. Cancer is an ugly word. But I know what God did for my friend, He would gladly do for anyone. He orchestrated divine appointments and friendships and I am so thankful that I was able to be a part of such a beautiful story. There were touching moments that will forever be embedded in my heart and mind. I am looking forward to many more years with my friend. Don't walk the paths of life alone. Grab someone special and let God show you the way. The journey will be worth it.
One thing that hasn't changed since my last post is that I am still raising two boys who challenge me each day. Bo keeps me smiling and laughing. He has a personality that just leaves an impression on everyone he meets. He is the child who wants to be a part of everything. He is very compassionate and is always thinking of ways to make someone smile. Right now I am battling the splitting of my time. I felt guilty quite often these past few months for leaving Bo at practices so I could go watch Christian's games or go to meetings. And because he has an older brother who is very active, I am always trying to make sure that I acknowledge Bo's accomplishments no matter how big or small. He is the child that gets super excited when he is chosen to be Eagle of the Month or who gets to sing in the choir on Veteran's Day. He wants to make sure Mom and Dad are there to see him. It doesn't matter how many times I hear "God Bless the USA" in a high pitched 9 year old voice, I had better act like I love it like it was my first time hearing it. I pray every day that I am showing him love and that he feels special and affirmed for the talents and gifts that he possesses. You would think since he is the baby that he gets spoiled but sometimes I feel like he gets the shaft. Does any one else ever feel this way?
Things are totally different with Christian. He has kept me on my toes recently. There is so much change that goes on with boys at this age. You have moments when they still rely on you like they did when they were little and then there are times when they open their mouth and you think you are talking to a grown man. He picks on me daily and I have come to accept that this is the way he shows me love. When it comes to him, I constantly have to ask for direction from God. Since he doesn't give me details, I have had to learn when to push and when to back off. If I ask too many questions he shuts down. Then there will be those special times when he opens up and I just have to be silent and soak it all in. I feel like I learn so much from him. He was that baby that cried all of the time and when I look back on those days, I thank the Lord we are at this point in life. Now I am the one crying with each new adventure he takes us on. But with each new step, I have had so many opportunities to say "Man that kid makes me proud!"
Raising boys is more fun than I ever thought it would be. My patience has been taken to new levels. I have learned to not panic. I have learned that they never really grow up and that is perfectly fine. I see my boys laughing and giggling at something only boys would. Just when I want to correct them, I look at my husband and see him laughing and giggling at the same thing. Boys can be gentlemen and they can be respectful. Boys will pick you up just to show you how strong they are. They will laugh at fart noises. They will make anything into some sort of weapon. Boys have a strong bond, kind of like a locker room bond with one another. It is a relation that most of us girls will never truly understand. Boys will call each other names and still come back together. Boys will think your crazy when you break down and cry because you can't put into words just how much you love them. Boys will like girls. And you will learn to care about those girls because you embrace what your boys care about. But isn't that how God is? God cares about what we care about even down to the smallest detail. Boys will make you pray more. You will pray for good friends, good girls, bones to not be broken and a whole lot of other things. Boys will open doors, take out the trash and get something off the top shelf for you. Boys will make you proud to be their momma.
So this is the re-cap of my life over the last few months. I have had to "hide my crazy" a few times. This time has been one of the most hectic seasons in my life. But it has also been a season full of revelation. I am working on being a better Hope. I won't have all the answers. I won't have it all together. I won't have the cleanest house. I won't be the perfect parent. I won't always say the right thing. But, I will be transparent enough to admit my faults and shortcomings. I will learn from my mistakes. I will love my kids and honor my husband. I will tell you that there is hope in any situation. I will spread the love of Jesus!
Blessings to you and yours!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Sunlight and Rain
Recently I have had no words to share. The words just seem to be floating around in my head like a mixed up mess. I have had a couple of people ask about why I haven't posted recently. All I can say is that there just hasn't been enough in me to pour out. Life can be joyous, comical, crazy and even heart breaking at times. The other day I found my 4th gray hair and I just had to laugh. I am not getting younger and life just doesn't stop when you want it to. Things will happen as you walk through your days. Some things will make you want to shout from the rooftops and other days want to make you crawl into a hole. You will have triumphs and tragedies. But one thing is for sure, life will still go on despite the way you are feeling in that one moment.
One thing I love about Facebook is getting to walk through people's lives with them. I have smiled at posts, shook my head at some and cried over others. I have rejoiced in babies being born, degrees being earned, and kids making touchdowns. I have bawled over the loss of innocent lives and friends that have lost things that they worked so hard for. I have asked the Lord to break my heart for what breaks his and I can tell you I have been broken hearted many times over the pains and struggles that people I know go through. In saying that, I have found myself broken at times too and have felt like I have nothing to offer anyone because I am emotionally and physically exhausted myself. But through perseverance I have been able to offer a word or a prayer. I am not the best at gift giving or cooking or crafting, but I can give my words. My community is hurting. My friends are fighting cancer. My family is fighting sickness. My heart can get desperate. But my God gives comfort to the hurting. He gives strength to the weak. He gives healing to the sick. He offers light in the midst of a dark world.
We have had a lot of rain recently and I am not a fan of the rain. I am a "sunshine" girl. I like windows and I like a lot of light. Lots of sunny rays makes me one happy girl. But I know there are days that rain is needed. Have you ever sat down and thought that in the midst of the rain, someone somewhere is soaking it up? Kids are laughing and playing out in it. People are dancing to the sound of the rain. Someone needs to be refreshed. Others are having a sunshine moment as the rain pours and the thunders cracks down. Life can be like that. But when you are the one who had plans, the rain is just a nuisance. You may be in the middle of the storm. The winds are raging and the downpour is relentless. But you have to know that the sun does shine and the skies do clear. The storm will pass. Patience is not easy, especially when you are waiting on an answer and hoping for a miracle. Some things are hard to understand. God offers peace that passes all understanding. When there is no sense of it all, all you can do is trust.
Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version (NIV)
I have been trying to read my bible more often lately. It has seemed that every scripture or motivational quote that someone has posted has applied to me. Isn't that funny how that happens? I just keep soaking it in. I read the Beatitudes in Matthew again the other day and it just jumped out at me like never before. We live in a world where everyone has an opinion. Everyone thinks it's ok to always speak their mind all the time. People take heart in "karma." Some love to see others fail. Some can't share in your successes. But the world could use more people that are slow to speak. Sometimes the greatest lessons can be learned in silence. If I have to choose between "karma" and mercy, I choose mercy. I surely hope I don't get everything I deserve. We should lift others up when they fall. We should extend our hands and our resources if we are able. We should be happy when people we know succeed. I would rather extend my hand to someone who has fallen than laugh in their face. I want my friends and family to succeed because out of the success comes overflow into my life as well.
I say all this to remind myself that we are in the midst of a hurting world. But remember that out of great tragedies come great testimonies. We have a will to keep going. There will be times you need someone else to hold your hand and guide you when you can't see clearly through the many tears you have shed. There will be times that it is your hands that hold a broken mother to comfort her. It may be your resources that help a struggling relative. It could be your ears that hear the prayers of person fighting a disease and needs strength to go on one more day. It may be your eyes that see a friend's pain through their smile. We all have purpose and we all have something to give. God specifically designed you. There is a life out there that you will touch and there will be someone who will touch your life. You just may be the hope that someone needs today. Go out and hold someone in the middle of their storm. Share your light!
My prayer today: God comfort those who need it today. In a world where things don't always make sense, I ask that you be our source. I ask that you hold the broken hearted in your hands today. I ask that you restore husbands back to wives and kids back to parents. I ask that you protect all of our children. I pray for every disease and every sickness to be healed in your name. I ask that you provide resources to all of those who are struggling in their finances today. I pray for our homes, our businesses, our schools and our community. Lord shine your everlasting light on all of us today. Thank you for your promises and the hope you give us for today and for our future.
Amen
One thing I love about Facebook is getting to walk through people's lives with them. I have smiled at posts, shook my head at some and cried over others. I have rejoiced in babies being born, degrees being earned, and kids making touchdowns. I have bawled over the loss of innocent lives and friends that have lost things that they worked so hard for. I have asked the Lord to break my heart for what breaks his and I can tell you I have been broken hearted many times over the pains and struggles that people I know go through. In saying that, I have found myself broken at times too and have felt like I have nothing to offer anyone because I am emotionally and physically exhausted myself. But through perseverance I have been able to offer a word or a prayer. I am not the best at gift giving or cooking or crafting, but I can give my words. My community is hurting. My friends are fighting cancer. My family is fighting sickness. My heart can get desperate. But my God gives comfort to the hurting. He gives strength to the weak. He gives healing to the sick. He offers light in the midst of a dark world.
We have had a lot of rain recently and I am not a fan of the rain. I am a "sunshine" girl. I like windows and I like a lot of light. Lots of sunny rays makes me one happy girl. But I know there are days that rain is needed. Have you ever sat down and thought that in the midst of the rain, someone somewhere is soaking it up? Kids are laughing and playing out in it. People are dancing to the sound of the rain. Someone needs to be refreshed. Others are having a sunshine moment as the rain pours and the thunders cracks down. Life can be like that. But when you are the one who had plans, the rain is just a nuisance. You may be in the middle of the storm. The winds are raging and the downpour is relentless. But you have to know that the sun does shine and the skies do clear. The storm will pass. Patience is not easy, especially when you are waiting on an answer and hoping for a miracle. Some things are hard to understand. God offers peace that passes all understanding. When there is no sense of it all, all you can do is trust.
Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
I have been trying to read my bible more often lately. It has seemed that every scripture or motivational quote that someone has posted has applied to me. Isn't that funny how that happens? I just keep soaking it in. I read the Beatitudes in Matthew again the other day and it just jumped out at me like never before. We live in a world where everyone has an opinion. Everyone thinks it's ok to always speak their mind all the time. People take heart in "karma." Some love to see others fail. Some can't share in your successes. But the world could use more people that are slow to speak. Sometimes the greatest lessons can be learned in silence. If I have to choose between "karma" and mercy, I choose mercy. I surely hope I don't get everything I deserve. We should lift others up when they fall. We should extend our hands and our resources if we are able. We should be happy when people we know succeed. I would rather extend my hand to someone who has fallen than laugh in their face. I want my friends and family to succeed because out of the success comes overflow into my life as well.
I say all this to remind myself that we are in the midst of a hurting world. But remember that out of great tragedies come great testimonies. We have a will to keep going. There will be times you need someone else to hold your hand and guide you when you can't see clearly through the many tears you have shed. There will be times that it is your hands that hold a broken mother to comfort her. It may be your resources that help a struggling relative. It could be your ears that hear the prayers of person fighting a disease and needs strength to go on one more day. It may be your eyes that see a friend's pain through their smile. We all have purpose and we all have something to give. God specifically designed you. There is a life out there that you will touch and there will be someone who will touch your life. You just may be the hope that someone needs today. Go out and hold someone in the middle of their storm. Share your light!
My prayer today: God comfort those who need it today. In a world where things don't always make sense, I ask that you be our source. I ask that you hold the broken hearted in your hands today. I ask that you restore husbands back to wives and kids back to parents. I ask that you protect all of our children. I pray for every disease and every sickness to be healed in your name. I ask that you provide resources to all of those who are struggling in their finances today. I pray for our homes, our businesses, our schools and our community. Lord shine your everlasting light on all of us today. Thank you for your promises and the hope you give us for today and for our future.
Amen
The Beatitudes
He said:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
The Dinner Table
We sat down to eat at the actual dinner table two nights ago. And have done so three nights this week. Why is that so important? Well just let me explain.
We have always been a close family. We are usually always together. It has only been in the last year that we have been split on occasion between two children in their activities. We always pile in one bed to say evening prayers and have several on our list that we pray for each night. Friday nights are normally family nights where we just hang out and take a moment to exhale before starting the busy weekends. We rarely miss a dinner together. But to be honest, we eat in front of the TV. Conversation is never scarce but there is always noise from the big screen. So there we are, the four of us, two dogs and Adam Levine from "The Voice". I just had to throw him in there.
I applaud you if you always eat at the dinner table. I can also say that I don't feel that we are any less of a close family because we don't. The brutal truth is that my table is where I throw my mail. My table is decorated by a pile of bills and to do lists and papers to sign and return to school. It has clothes that need to be returned to the store on it. My table is the place where the busy life has found its resting place. My messy table is a reminder to me that I need my life to slow down just a bit.
So the other day I had just enough motivation in me to clear the kitchen table. That consisted of me moving my piles to other places in the house but nonetheless my table was clean. When the kids saw it they requested that we have dinner at the table. So we turned the television off and there was suddenly no noise. There were no distractions. We just sat and talked as a family. It was so refreshing! Of course there was still "gross" boy conversations going on. And big brother and little brother still had to throw jabs at each other. But there were no outside distractions. For a moment, life stopped long enough for me to catch my breath. I actually could hear myself breathe and it was Heavenly.
My idea of Heaven is no schedules, no alarm clocks, no deadlines. My Heaven is peace. I imagine it to be a place where I can stop to smell the fragrances in the air, a place where I can lay my head down and not think about my next move. Don't get me wrong, I love my crazy life. I have so many memories running from home to work to practices to meetings to gyms and back home again. But sometimes I want to be in the still and in the quiet. I faithfully pray and I lay so much out there to God. I call out name after name each morning. But I forget to be quiet. So I find myself turning down the radio and waiting. I don't know about you but I am not good at waiting. So I give God a few minutes to answer and when I don't hear anything I turn the radio back up. Why can't I just shut up sometimes and listen?
Like my kitchen table, I just want to keep piling everything up. I am in a hurry so I leave everything on the table. The "stuff" becomes part of the table and before I know it, those things are covering up the purpose of the table. That rectangular piece of wood was meant for gathering my family together. It should be the part of my home to seat the most important people to me not to merely be a storage place for paper and dust. I have been created to do more than store the junk and worries of this world. My purpose is far greater. I have to be the best "Hope" that I can be. There are people in my path and in my circle who need me to stop and lend a hand or lend an ear. There will be those that need me to lift them up when they are down. My kids need me to "look" when they want to show me a trick and "listen" when they need help with a problem. So in the midst of my fast-paced, upside down world, I know that I need to stop and take a deep breath. I need to rid myself of the worry and the concerns this life brings. I need to recognize the blessings that are right in front of me. I need to cleanse my mind and my heart of anything that doesn't need to be there and gather myself with the ones I love and the One who loves me.
I don't know what your dinner table looks like. Maybe you get to eat at your table every night. Maybe it is beautifully decorated with all the place settings. Maybe you eat there alone and you are missing someone. Maybe you are like us and you eat in front of the television. Maybe you never have time to eat as a family. Whatever the case, I hope it works for you. If you are missing out because life just seems to be moving in all sorts of crazy directions, I challenge you to take a deep breath. Get a fresh perspective and know that there is more to life than all the noisy distractions. Take time to listen. Take time to smell. Take time to touch. Take time to taste. Take time to see. Be that someone that others want to gather around and do life with.
Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."
We have always been a close family. We are usually always together. It has only been in the last year that we have been split on occasion between two children in their activities. We always pile in one bed to say evening prayers and have several on our list that we pray for each night. Friday nights are normally family nights where we just hang out and take a moment to exhale before starting the busy weekends. We rarely miss a dinner together. But to be honest, we eat in front of the TV. Conversation is never scarce but there is always noise from the big screen. So there we are, the four of us, two dogs and Adam Levine from "The Voice". I just had to throw him in there.
I applaud you if you always eat at the dinner table. I can also say that I don't feel that we are any less of a close family because we don't. The brutal truth is that my table is where I throw my mail. My table is decorated by a pile of bills and to do lists and papers to sign and return to school. It has clothes that need to be returned to the store on it. My table is the place where the busy life has found its resting place. My messy table is a reminder to me that I need my life to slow down just a bit.
So the other day I had just enough motivation in me to clear the kitchen table. That consisted of me moving my piles to other places in the house but nonetheless my table was clean. When the kids saw it they requested that we have dinner at the table. So we turned the television off and there was suddenly no noise. There were no distractions. We just sat and talked as a family. It was so refreshing! Of course there was still "gross" boy conversations going on. And big brother and little brother still had to throw jabs at each other. But there were no outside distractions. For a moment, life stopped long enough for me to catch my breath. I actually could hear myself breathe and it was Heavenly.
My idea of Heaven is no schedules, no alarm clocks, no deadlines. My Heaven is peace. I imagine it to be a place where I can stop to smell the fragrances in the air, a place where I can lay my head down and not think about my next move. Don't get me wrong, I love my crazy life. I have so many memories running from home to work to practices to meetings to gyms and back home again. But sometimes I want to be in the still and in the quiet. I faithfully pray and I lay so much out there to God. I call out name after name each morning. But I forget to be quiet. So I find myself turning down the radio and waiting. I don't know about you but I am not good at waiting. So I give God a few minutes to answer and when I don't hear anything I turn the radio back up. Why can't I just shut up sometimes and listen?
Like my kitchen table, I just want to keep piling everything up. I am in a hurry so I leave everything on the table. The "stuff" becomes part of the table and before I know it, those things are covering up the purpose of the table. That rectangular piece of wood was meant for gathering my family together. It should be the part of my home to seat the most important people to me not to merely be a storage place for paper and dust. I have been created to do more than store the junk and worries of this world. My purpose is far greater. I have to be the best "Hope" that I can be. There are people in my path and in my circle who need me to stop and lend a hand or lend an ear. There will be those that need me to lift them up when they are down. My kids need me to "look" when they want to show me a trick and "listen" when they need help with a problem. So in the midst of my fast-paced, upside down world, I know that I need to stop and take a deep breath. I need to rid myself of the worry and the concerns this life brings. I need to recognize the blessings that are right in front of me. I need to cleanse my mind and my heart of anything that doesn't need to be there and gather myself with the ones I love and the One who loves me.
I don't know what your dinner table looks like. Maybe you get to eat at your table every night. Maybe it is beautifully decorated with all the place settings. Maybe you eat there alone and you are missing someone. Maybe you are like us and you eat in front of the television. Maybe you never have time to eat as a family. Whatever the case, I hope it works for you. If you are missing out because life just seems to be moving in all sorts of crazy directions, I challenge you to take a deep breath. Get a fresh perspective and know that there is more to life than all the noisy distractions. Take time to listen. Take time to smell. Take time to touch. Take time to taste. Take time to see. Be that someone that others want to gather around and do life with.
Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."
Monday, April 14, 2014
Love Story
As we embark on Easter Sunday, I am not feeling so "eastery". Yes, I know that is not a word but just follow me. Maybe it is this crazy Texas weather that jumps from hot to cold and from rain to sunshine in the matter of a few hours. I love Spring time but my allergies have been jacked up for weeks and it seems there is no relief in sight. My boys are older and aren't so much into the egg hunts anymore. I have replaced Easter baskets with Academy bags and Nike drawstring bags. I really need to just borrow some one's little girl for the weekend so that I can dress her up and buy all the cute Easter stuff out there. Of course I would need to return her after Sunday.
I know that Easter is the best time of year. Easter reminds us of the greatest story of all. It is the story of unfailing love, precious grace and redemption. I should be rejoicing, right? Can I just put it all out here? I am tired! My mind is tired. My heart is tired. My body is tired. Have any of you been there? Maybe you are there right now. Your mind may be tired because you wake up every morning wondering how you are going to pay your next bill. You may be worried about how you are going to get your kids everywhere they need to be because you are doing it alone. Your mind is racing because you need direction in life and you just can't seem to get a clear answer. You are afraid to make the wrong decision. Your mind is flooded with the people you love who look to you for answers and you have nothing uplifting to say because you are down yourself. Your heart is exhausted because it has been hurt over and over again. You opened your heart to people who have hurt you. So you want to just put your heart in a box and not open it up again for anyone. Your heart aches over the loss of a loved one or the loss of a close relationship. Your heart cries as you watch those dear to you suffer with sicknesses or addictions. You feel helpless. Your body is tired because you work your tail off trying to get ahead. Or your body can't keep up with all that you want to accomplish. Your body is weak because you have pushed it to its limit when you don't take time to rest. Your body has been abused and has deeper scars that no one has seen. Your body is in pain because you are fighting diabetes, cancer, arthritis or any other sickness.
My story may not be your exact story, but I can relate. I will tell you that most days I am up on a cloud. I look at life with a smile. I approach most days ready to make a positive difference. But then there are those days when I just want to put my head in my hands and cry. In saying that, I am always aware that there are worse situations. There are people with bigger problems. But I am glad that God cares about what is important to me down to the smallest detail. For the last week I have been listening to the same few songs over and over again. One of the songs is called "All I need to do is Worship" by Rita Springer. I have had every emotion flood through my mind, heart and body. So I decided to stop my whining and just worship. It has been a wonderful week with just me and the One who holds my every moment. There is a line in the song that says "when there is no way out, except through a miracle. There's no way up a mountain except to climb it. And every thing you hoped for seems gone. And every dream you've dreamed seems so far away, just lift your voice and say...All I need to do is worship." There will be times when you feel like there is no solution to your problem and there is no hope for your restless soul. It is in those times when all I can do is throw my hands up and surrender all of those emotions to God. I can only worship. And in the midst of it all, I know He holds me. There is a comfort that comes when I don't ask him for anything but I just worship him.
So as Easter approaches I am reminded of a man who died on a cross so that I could be saved and have a promise of a future. He is called King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He did it all because He loves me. I am reminded that He is savior. He is healer. He is the Prince of Peace. He is my shield and my fortress. You may not believe what I believe but I can tell you that my life does not work without Him in it. He gives me rest when I am tired. He gives me peace of mind when the stresses of the world are holding my thoughts captive. He comforts my heart when it is broken. He gives me rest when I am tired. He gives me mercy when I have acted a fool. He gives me grace when I have gotten myself into a screwed up mess. When I focus on him and give him all of my worship, I find myself being able to take steps forward even when I want to retreat back. I am able to smile in the midst of all that is coming at me. I am able to control my tongue when I want to lash out. I am able to find joy in the in the little things. I am able to be encouraged by random people who just thought of me out of the blue. I am able to see with eyes of compassion. I have a heart for the hurting and eye to see beauty that is within.
I don't write any of this to force my beliefs on any of you. I just know that I am not perfect. And I know that the only way that I can handle the stresses and worries and attacks of this thing called life is by giving my life to the Lord. If you can ever truly grasp what His love is all about, you would be brought to your knees. As you decorate your eggs, and buy your perfect Sunday outfits remember that you are a part of the greatest love story of all. If you don't feel so "eastery," that's OK too. Don't give up hope. The sun will rise and the flowers will bloom. The grass will turn green and you will see that the days get bright. We all walk our own path and tell our own stories but I know I have experienced some of the same things you have. You are not alone. I am praying for you and I am confident that the One who loves you more than anything is hearing my prayers. Yes I am tired, but I am able to stand because there is a lover of my soul who holds me up when I need it most.
You are loved,
Hope
Click on link below. Rita Springer "All I Need to do Is Worship"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRC65kgRs54&feature=share&list=RDQRC65kgRs54
I know that Easter is the best time of year. Easter reminds us of the greatest story of all. It is the story of unfailing love, precious grace and redemption. I should be rejoicing, right? Can I just put it all out here? I am tired! My mind is tired. My heart is tired. My body is tired. Have any of you been there? Maybe you are there right now. Your mind may be tired because you wake up every morning wondering how you are going to pay your next bill. You may be worried about how you are going to get your kids everywhere they need to be because you are doing it alone. Your mind is racing because you need direction in life and you just can't seem to get a clear answer. You are afraid to make the wrong decision. Your mind is flooded with the people you love who look to you for answers and you have nothing uplifting to say because you are down yourself. Your heart is exhausted because it has been hurt over and over again. You opened your heart to people who have hurt you. So you want to just put your heart in a box and not open it up again for anyone. Your heart aches over the loss of a loved one or the loss of a close relationship. Your heart cries as you watch those dear to you suffer with sicknesses or addictions. You feel helpless. Your body is tired because you work your tail off trying to get ahead. Or your body can't keep up with all that you want to accomplish. Your body is weak because you have pushed it to its limit when you don't take time to rest. Your body has been abused and has deeper scars that no one has seen. Your body is in pain because you are fighting diabetes, cancer, arthritis or any other sickness.
My story may not be your exact story, but I can relate. I will tell you that most days I am up on a cloud. I look at life with a smile. I approach most days ready to make a positive difference. But then there are those days when I just want to put my head in my hands and cry. In saying that, I am always aware that there are worse situations. There are people with bigger problems. But I am glad that God cares about what is important to me down to the smallest detail. For the last week I have been listening to the same few songs over and over again. One of the songs is called "All I need to do is Worship" by Rita Springer. I have had every emotion flood through my mind, heart and body. So I decided to stop my whining and just worship. It has been a wonderful week with just me and the One who holds my every moment. There is a line in the song that says "when there is no way out, except through a miracle. There's no way up a mountain except to climb it. And every thing you hoped for seems gone. And every dream you've dreamed seems so far away, just lift your voice and say...All I need to do is worship." There will be times when you feel like there is no solution to your problem and there is no hope for your restless soul. It is in those times when all I can do is throw my hands up and surrender all of those emotions to God. I can only worship. And in the midst of it all, I know He holds me. There is a comfort that comes when I don't ask him for anything but I just worship him.
So as Easter approaches I am reminded of a man who died on a cross so that I could be saved and have a promise of a future. He is called King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He did it all because He loves me. I am reminded that He is savior. He is healer. He is the Prince of Peace. He is my shield and my fortress. You may not believe what I believe but I can tell you that my life does not work without Him in it. He gives me rest when I am tired. He gives me peace of mind when the stresses of the world are holding my thoughts captive. He comforts my heart when it is broken. He gives me rest when I am tired. He gives me mercy when I have acted a fool. He gives me grace when I have gotten myself into a screwed up mess. When I focus on him and give him all of my worship, I find myself being able to take steps forward even when I want to retreat back. I am able to smile in the midst of all that is coming at me. I am able to control my tongue when I want to lash out. I am able to find joy in the in the little things. I am able to be encouraged by random people who just thought of me out of the blue. I am able to see with eyes of compassion. I have a heart for the hurting and eye to see beauty that is within.
I don't write any of this to force my beliefs on any of you. I just know that I am not perfect. And I know that the only way that I can handle the stresses and worries and attacks of this thing called life is by giving my life to the Lord. If you can ever truly grasp what His love is all about, you would be brought to your knees. As you decorate your eggs, and buy your perfect Sunday outfits remember that you are a part of the greatest love story of all. If you don't feel so "eastery," that's OK too. Don't give up hope. The sun will rise and the flowers will bloom. The grass will turn green and you will see that the days get bright. We all walk our own path and tell our own stories but I know I have experienced some of the same things you have. You are not alone. I am praying for you and I am confident that the One who loves you more than anything is hearing my prayers. Yes I am tired, but I am able to stand because there is a lover of my soul who holds me up when I need it most.
You are loved,
Hope
Click on link below. Rita Springer "All I Need to do Is Worship"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRC65kgRs54&feature=share&list=RDQRC65kgRs54
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)